Bleeding hearts and painfall memories
by kittycatpony
Summary: memories haunt England and he starts to give in, will America be able to stop England from destroying himself or is it already too late? (i know it sounds bad but give it a shot ok? ;-; please? NO FLAMES) rated: T for self harm and other depressing things WARNING: contains bad language from England, IS NOW AVAILABLE FOR ADOPTION, JUST CREDIT AND PM ME SO I CAN SEE YOUR VERSHION
1. Chapter 1

**A/U~ ok... another fanfic :D its kinda angusty and the start bit may be irreverent at the moment but trust me, its necicery!**

* * *

"the registrants that hold me back

they cant keep me registraind for long

when i escape you all will be sorry!"

* * *

"why can't i? i'm not a kid anymore!" a very annoyed Alfred shouted at his mentor he sighed

"look, all because i said you can't do something doesn't mean that i'm treating you as a kid." Arthur said calmly justifying his hat

"but you never let me do anything! maybe i should just be a single country! then you wont have to choose everything for me!" Alfred said bitterly

"you cant just decide that your going to be a single country! it doesn't work like that!" Arthur said annoyed

"yes i can! and if you don't like it then ill fight for independence! im more stronger and bigger then you, in fact i take about half of your empire! you know what! ill see you on the war-ground in 10 days!"

"you know i can't do it Alfred..." he said falling to his knees

he placed the gun agens't his head but ended up putting it down

"you used to be so...big" he said droping England flag and stomping on it before walking away

in the mud he layed there, he had lost, his own 'little brother' left him there! '_why ello there long time no see_ _... i hope you have been keeping well_' a voice whispered into England's ear

* * *

the words still echoes in his head like a broken record and they are killing him.

"i need to let these demons out somehow" he whispered shakily grabbing a blade

"only once, never again." he whispered before sliding the blade onto his arm leaving a deep vertical cut across his skin, he put it agenst his skin again and started to cut at his arm more

one, cut

too, cut

three, cut

he stopped after that and watched the blood pore out of the gashes, its color a bright blue-pink coulor

drip

drip

drip

he slowly listened to the sound of dripping, like a tap he was letting the demons out

he was draining them out of his body

only when the blood cvame out red did he wrap his cuts

"never again..."

* * *

"hey bro are you listening?" America said waving a hand in front of England

"what? uhh no terribly sorry please carry on anyway"

"ugh what the hell? why are you acting like that?"

"like what?"

America sighed brushed his hand onto his wrist making the Brit gasp and quickly move his hand

"dude? why did you do that" he said giving him a quizzical look

"what do you mean you git?"

"i mean why did you react so quickly when i brushed my hand onto your wrist?"

England sighed

"since when have you ever noticed petty things like that?" he said shooting a quizzical glare at America

"since when did you become to twitchy?" came his reply

there was a awkward silence for a while then Arthur raised a thick eyebrow

"since when did you care."

there was a pause before the american replied

"iv always cared, dude if this is about the war it wasn't entirely my fault!" he said

"oh come on! don't give me that bullshit again! we already had this argument meany of times!"

then afterwards the meeting carried on as normal (well... as normal as it gets in that room) without ether arguing about it.

"right, the meeting is over. you may go now" Germany deep voice hollowed above the chaos that is the world conference room

"hey dude what was that all about?" America said pulling England backwards when everyone was gone.

"get the bloody hell off me, what the hell are you talking about you lumbering buffoon!" England snapped

"dude i know why your acting like this, show me your wrists!"

"why the bloody hell should i?"

"why should you hide them?"

"i'm not hiding them!"

"then surely you won't care if there shown then?"

England growled at the American.

America then grabbed his wrists harshly causing the other to yelp to the surprise of the American

"what the hell?" he said

"DON'T FUCKING GRAB THEM LIKE THAT YOU GIT!" England shouted at the american rather annoyed at America

"why have you got gauze on your wrists?"

"PISS OFF!" he said fuming

"dude. i'm not letting go until you explain how your arms got cut so badly"

England took in a deep breath before replying

"i fell! now can you let go!" he said still pissed off

"don't lie to me! please! i just want to help!" America said pouting

Britain looked down shuffling nervously, his mood and completely different now

"i...i cant" he said wanting to just run out now, if he wasn't held back by the Americans Iorn grip

"why, did you do it to yourself?"

England looked down, avoiding eye contact with America

"can you let go now please... i'm not in the mood to talk to you about it" he said, his voice suddenly static and emotionless

"dude, i don't care we need to talk, now!" America said lifting up Britain's chin so they made eye contact

"...get of my face! why don't you just go away!" England said swingeing away his hand with his hand that wasn't being gripped by the American

"we cold stand here all week for all i care, until you tell me why I'm not going!" America said calmly

"fine i'll tell you, but you have to never speak of it to anyone else apart from me ok?" England said, his voice stern

"fine dude i promise just hurry up already!"


	2. Chapter 2

When the season is spinning, spinning  
Please embrace the scattering ties  
Strongly, strongly  
So that they won't be lost

Unable to move from the weight  
Of the embraced words,  
I fell into a warm dream  
When I woke, it was after I lost you

I tie it-the appearance that I embraced  
The color of orange softly scatters  
It hurt so much, it's strongly engraved in my heart

Flutter, flutter, flutter

To the sky, the sea, someplace far  
So that I may deliver at least one piece to you  
The color of the ties we make

Flutter away, flutter away

Someday, the passing memory  
Will be born in a scattering moment  
Even though it knows it's decaying

Flutter, flutter, flutter

I can't deliver my heart twice  
But so that I can deliver the last part to you  
Like a gently falling rain

Flutter away, flutter away

~hatsune miku - hirari hirari~

just thought it wold suit, search it if you want TwT (it is in Japanese tho...) and also... AMG! you guys! so many favorites and even a review! i feel so loved thank you TwT sorry if this is bad

/)|||-|||(\ *hides face in shame* its sooooo short! in so sorry guys, im just too tired to write anymore, i have a week off now so more will be out (hopefully) just hang in there! :,D

* * *

"So what your telling me is that you did a spell and now if you don't do this your scared he'll come out?" Amarica said giving England the 'what the actual fuck' look

"its true... look" he said stabbing a pocket knife into his hand as black blood oozed out "it only builds up when i think of things that hurt..." he said

"...how can you stop uh... that from happening?" America said still giving him the look

"you already know you git..." England said in his usual 'pissed off' voice

"surely there should be another way?" America said watching as the blackness started coming out more now

"dose it look like there's another way?" England said back to his tusandre self

they both where silent for a while

"hey dude i have a great idea!" america said "ill stay at your place and you stop cutting! ill control you if you go evil and stuff! America said happily

"how the bloody hell will that work?" England said

"well we don't know if we don't try, come one dude! the hero has to fix everything!" America said in his usal loud and obnoxious self

"...fine, come on you git" England huffed

* * *

yes i changed it abit :3


	3. Chapter 3

"dude? are you feeling ok?" america said stepping away from England as he giggled

"yeh I'M FINE hehe why wouldn't i be... oh and please... call me Oliver" he said grinning like a madman "cupcake? he said handing him a cupcake

"uhh no thanks dude... im f-" he wasn't able to finish his sentence as the cupcake got shoved into his mouth

"WHOPSIE DAISY, looks like i slipped" England said still grinning

America stood there for a few minuets, then his facial expression darkened as he grinned, his hair suddenly going a few shades darker and his eyes becoming a blood red color

there was a airy silence in the room for half an hour

"its good to be back.." Al grinned

"while yes, it is" oliver grinned

* * *

**im soooooo sorry |||-||| i should be more creative but im writhing other storys... anyway yeh... this is it for now, make sure too look out for my storys on my profile :D im now going to run from the raging fangirls *doge's rock* well... better run for my life... baiii~~~ *runs***


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